You're going to heaven? oh ok... NEXT PLEASE.

Why focus ONLY on heaven and souls? Aren't there more important things? Don't get me wrong, a person coming to know the Lord through the redeeming grace of Jesus is awesome! But what happens next?

You preach the gospel. Thousands are saved. Who's next?

That can't be the right mindset to have.

All I can hear in my head is, "What about me?!"

Jesus chased after His disciples. Typically, you went to a rabbi and ASKED to follow Him. Jesus was so radically different, He pursued his followers.

God chased after the Israelites. He chases after us. He sent Jesus for us. He loves us.

So, what's going on?

It's like get 'em, and bag 'em.

And you're happy because you've done your job. moving right along...

But is it? Your job I mean...

I think the world should be won over with a passionate love so full of sincerity they can't help but come to know the Lord. They are overwhelmed with a passion that is towards them!

I know this is going to sound awful, but I feel neglected by my "Christian" friends on a constant basis. Call me selfish, or narcissistic, but I hate that I am not encouraged with any depth.

It seems like everything is superficial and shallow. I want something DEEPER. I'm tired of the milk. That's for babies. I am an adult. I need something more substantial. But I feel like I have no one to help take me there.

Everyone seems too busy with saving the lost.

The found need help too.

Life can't be ONLY about getting people to heaven.

I know that life is so much more than that.

I believe that God desires us to live a life in His will.

And that honestly doesn't always mean living a life of "doing" things for God.

It can sometimes mean cooking supper for your family even when you're too tired.

It means seeing a friend from highschool say F*** God, and totally understanding why he feels that way. Because one day you found yourself saying it.

It's identifying with the hurt of everyone around you.

To do that, you have to be apart of LIFE.

Life isn't preaching.

Life is living.

Living in the will of God.

His will is to LIVE.

He said be fruitful.

I want to be fruitful. Do you?

Prayer

Why can't I feel You?
You said You won't leave,
And yes I believe!
But why won't You come near?
Should I be in fear?
Did I displease You, my only Love?

What have I done to separate us?!
Examine my heart, and bring to light
All of the wrongs that have been done tonight.

I confess in my heart...
In the deepest places of me...
Forgive me, Your child...
For I know I am Redeemed.

I confess with my mouth...
Aloud for You to hear...
I know You are crying...
For me to repent...

Now, I am crying for you to draw near.
Forgive me, my God...
Make me righteous in Your eyes.
Give wisdom to this humble child...
I pray! I pray!

Father, please forgive me, I know not what I've done.
Please wash me and fill me with Your Holy, Precious Son.
I may not be the wisest, the strongest, or the bravest...
But I will be a light for Your glory, until all my days are gone.

Forgiveness is so sweet... surrendered at the throne.
My Jesus, My Jesus... Your Light has been shown.
Now, wash me and make me whiter than snow.
Yes, Lord, whiter than snow.

Life recently...

so, there have been some incredibly amazing things happen to me in the past two weeks. All since we got back from the beach. My life has taken a turn I did not see coming. When I dwell on it for too long, my mind starts coming up with crazy scenarios and I get so nervous I want to cry. But the possibilities are endless. and the truth of the matter is: that scares the crap out of me. My life will take an entirely different direction from where I thought God was wanting me to go. I was so sure that this is what He wanted, but now I'm not so sure. My mind is completely confused... I've been thinking too much. Tomorrow, however, will be a day that goes down in my history books. We'll see where God leads me. This honestly makes my cry... I can't believe it... why me? I am so unworthy... I don't deserve this... What do I do? I am so blessed. Jesus rocks my world... He still provides for me, even when I neglect Him. He is my only lover... others will come and go: they have. But He will never leave me! I am His beautiful bride! Someday... someday... :) Give me peace, Lord. All I want is you! "I am so in love with you! There is nothing else I choose! You've stolen my heart!"

Kelly

44 ODD Things about Me. :)

44 ODD Things about you!
Fill this out, learn 44 things about your friends, and let them learn 44 things about you!

1. Do you like Bleu Cheese?
mhm

2. Have you ever been drunk?
no

3. Do you own a gun?
no

4. What flavor of Kool Aid was your favorite?
Grape, Blue Raspberry

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
yes

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
they're not bad.

7. Favorite Christmas movie?
White Christmas

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Milk

9. Can you do push ups?
kinda

:)

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
eh, not a big jewelry person

11. Favorite hobby?
uhm.

12. Do you have A.D.D.?
yes

13. What's your favorite shoe?
flip-flops

14. Middle name?
Ann

15. Name 3 thoughts you have at this moment:
Meeting with Kristyn and Brian on 280 tonight, where do I want to eat, and one more thing...

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
water, tea, milk

17. Current worry?
test monday

18. Current hate right now?
noen

20. How did you bring in the New Year?
WORSHIPPING! :) It was amazing! :)

21. Where would you like to go?
Anywhere, really. :)

22. Name three people who will complete this?
idk

23. Do you own slippers?
no

24. What color shirt are you wearing right now?
I have on a black dress-like shirt

5. Do you like sleeping on Satin sheets?
I'm sure I would.

26. Can you whistle?
yes

27. Favorite color?
purple

28. Would you be a pirate?
will Johnny Depp be there? ;)

29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
I prefer singing in the car over singing in the shower.

30. Favorite Girl's Name?
Rebekah

31. Favorite boy's name?
Blake

32. What's in your pocket right now?
nothing

33. Last thing that made you laugh?
Brian. ha. :)

34. Best bed sheets as a child?
the flowery ones

35. Worst injury you've ever had as a child?
I went over a ramp on my bike and landed on my face. it was pretty bad.

36. Do you love where you live?
eh, it's not bad.

38. Who is your loudest friend?
I am pretty much the loudest of my friends

39. How many dogs do you have?
0

40. Does someone have a crush on you?
I don't know. you tell me.

41. What is your favorite book?
I love the books of Song of Solomon and James

42. What is your favorite candy?
kit kat bars

43. Favorite Sports Team?

ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE!

44. What song do you want played at your funeral?
haha, something CRUNK! :) :)

contemplative...

sometimes i feel like giving up.

sometimes i do give up.

only God could love me.

sinner that i am.

life is pointless without Him.

why live if God is not God of all gods?

if He were a god i could hold in my hands,

what good would He be as God? 

He is a God who holds me in His hands.

He is mighty and powerful.

majestic, filled with glory.

all glory, honor, power should go to Him.

He is my prayer in the desert.

He is my hope, my strength, my life.

Without Him i am nothing.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

i cannot begin to describe how much i hate being ignored.

it pisses me off like nothing else can.

you call me names, act childish, be ridiculously stubborn.

that's fine. i'll get over it.

you ignore me... dude it's on.

when you ignore me, i take that as a sign of disrespect.

if you respect someone, you will listen to them.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

i want Your heartbeat, Lord

i want to see the things you see

i need to see them

my heart cries out

Lord, Your compassion never fails.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

stubbornness.

honorable?

or selfish?

both, i say.

i'm stubborn in that i refuse to be like everyone else.

you know those northface jackets?

i will never own one of them.

why?

everyone has one.

i don't want to be like everyone.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

compassion

the definition of compassion in the dictionary should be 

"Jesus"

that is the story of His life

i don't understand, how He did it

He died an ugly death for people who would hate Him

why would He do that?

He has compassion on man-kind

blows my mind

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

i believe in giving everyone the benefit of the doubt

Christ gives second chances, third chances, fourth chances, etc

shouldn't i?

i refuse to make snap judgements based solely

on what i see on the surface

there is ALWAYS more than what meets the eye

i have learned from experience

who i am to act like i know everything?

ha. i am stupid

who am i?

kelly ann bean

insignificant

but loved.

and because i'm loved

i become significant 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Overloaded

Wrote this about 7 months ago. July 15, 2008.

when my world starts crashing in

and everything that is familiar to me dissapeares

when everyone just doesn't understand

everything that's important to me.

When I become overloaded...

all I can do is look to Jesus.

He is the calm in my storm.

He is the peace in this crazy world.

all I can do is fall on my knees and just simply trust Him...

Bursting with Joy.

if you just open your eyes, you'll see God in every thing that happens in your life. When you look for Him, you see His blessings EVERYWHERE! On my way to class today it was POURING rain. I prayed and asked God to stop the rain just long enough for me to walk to class without getting drenched. I also asked Him to open up a parking place CLOSE. Guess what? The rain stopped BEFORE I got there, and I spotted a place to park as I was driving up. I know you might be thinking, "Kelly, that's ridiculous." But I don't believe in coincidences, I believe that God can move this earth whichever way He pleases, and His timing is perfect for His children. :) I love my Jesus.